Friday, September 16, 2005

Blah....that's all I got

I know people don't like complainers, but I'm venting today.

So my headaches are back, with full vengeance. So much for going to the chiropractor this summer. I guess I should have followed his advice and kept going, but I just couldn't afford it. Yesterday it was unbearable and I had to big the little girl I baby-sit to just sit quietly and watch TV for a bit before I made her dinner. Dinner seemed to help, but not fix it. By the time some of my slightly younger friends were coercing me to go to the "store" for them, I was still feeling crapy. However while wandering the isles of the small establishment, I spotted a little green bottle of melon bliss. My good friend Mr. Midori took the edge off just enough to enjoy the spontaneous however chill gathering that resulted from my trip to the store. After one drink and watching my roommate get both legs behind her head while screaming, "take the picture fast, owe this hurts," I went to bed.

This morning I woke up "late" since I didn't have to sit. I got up and ready and went to this "coffee with a professor" thing. It's more of a community thing. Every so often they have a professor give a very casual 20 minute talk in their area of expertise. My favorite professor was up today, speaking about a subject that I usually find overly interesting. I sat with the new clinical therapist and the Dean of my college. It seemed like a good idea, at first. Then I realized it was 8am on a Friday morning, I was in a room full of "older adults," and my professor wasn't saying anything I hadn't heard before. The whole thing was rather anticlimactic.

I came back to my room and my ex called. I'm really getting sick of him. For those of you just tuning in, our relationship is EXTREMELY dramatic--soap opera worthy. If you're interested in more of an explanation, feel free to check it out. So he was in Seattle for several weeks, spending time with his father. As I predicted, putting two stubborn bachelors in one house for a significant amount of time with neither one of them working was a BAD combination. I was there for him and tried to keep him from blowing an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship with a pretty incredible man. As soon as he got back in town, it was "Tina who?" I sent him a text message while he was at a friend's house asking him to call when he was leaving because I was having a rough night. The circumstances of my shitty mood aren't important. He called as I was dosing off so I was rather groggy when I answered the phone. He didn't give a shit that I was upset. He asked if I'd talked to someone else about it and I told him I'd just cried myself to sleep instead. His response was to change the subject. There's more, but basically, he was just being an uncaring ass. That was a week ago. Today he called and was all lovey dovey and cutsie voice and "oh, how was your week?" and just gag me. I'm so over the on again off again attitude. One minute he wants to restart our relationship, the next he just wants me back in bed, and the next he doesn't want a thing to do with me. ARGH!! They say girls are cryptic!

So then I call another friend of mine. This time I'm trying to figure out why his wife has been telling me that she's been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks and why she says they've been talking about divorce. Knowing the drama queen nature of this particular friend, I figured I'd hear his side before coming to a conclusion about the whole thing. I felt so bad. Not only did I distract him from his work for about an hour, I frustrated him. Not at me, but by bringing up exhausting topics. When I hung up, his wife was online and IMing me. Oh lord. So I listened to her rant for awhile then begged out to make my lunch.

By now it's NOON and I still haven't touched any of the thesis research I'd promised myself I'd get done. So I eat a gigantic bowl of soup, so much that I actually made myself sick. Then I cleaned the living room from the activities from the night before and washed all the dishes.

By one my head was killing me, yet again, so I figured I'd lie down and rest for about an hour. I woke up feeling crappier than I had before I laid down. Nice. I had a quick thank you letter to write to turn in for my scholarship. Cleaned my room which had somehow COMPLETELY exploded. I figured I'd splurge and buy myself a soda. Maybe the caffeine and sugar would help. Do you think that even something as simple as that could go right?? Of course not. I decided against the cherry pepsi and went for the hard stuff. Mountain Dew. So I push the button, grab my soda, and promptly get distracted by a bulletin board. I mindlessly open the bottle and take a sip. Damn, I must be feeling bad, this tastes like shit. I chalk it up to weird taste buds and head for my room. When I finally look down, I realize that even though there's no button which offers Diet Mountain Dew, I've somehow managed to acquire it. I cannot stand the taste of aspertane. I figured I don't really need the calories anyway and I'll just suck it up and drink it. Well, as soon as I walked in the door I promptly DROPPED IT. That's terrific. Now I can't even drink it until later, which I know I won't do. Maybe I should just bust out the Midori that's in my fridge, that would make things ALL better!! Except that I really wanted to take a vicidin to rid me of this headache and am not interested in killer cocktails. Water's best for me anyway, I guess.

Oh, I was looking forward to my bike ride this afternoon (I bike to and from work). When I was turning in my thank you letter I saw the dooming black formations over head. So much for the prospect of physical activity and the rush of endorphins to help the mood.

So now that it's just about time for me to go pick up "my" child from aftercare, I realize that I've effectively WASTED my entire Friday, yet again. Terrific. Hope everyone is having a better day and I hope we all have terrific weekends.

J & Beaver....come back, I miss you!!


  1. hey, if you need a hit man in seattle, i may know someone ... lol

    it's good to vent !!

  2. Lol, thanks for the offer, but he's back in FL. And I love his dad (who lives in Seattle) so that would never be an option.

    However... if you do know any "Ryans" in FL...maybe you could set me up ;)

  3. Aaaawwww sweetie - I'm sorry you had such a bad day! It was a day for venting for me too - as my good friend Thom said, "it's good to vent."

    Take care and feel better!!!!

  4. I know what you mean Tina! Don't you just love "tom cats". I miss J and Beaver too!