Sunday, July 31, 2005
Again, I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers...keep them coming, we're not through this yet!
Me: LOL...my cat just sneezed on my mom
Me: I'm not sure why that's hysterical right now
Fake-Doug: haha, I think cats sneezing...hell, I think any animal sneezing is hilarious
Fake-Doug: I'd like to see a giraffe sneeze
Fake-Doug: how does that even work?
Me: they're all slobbery as it is
Fake-Doug: is a giraffe sneezing like a bee sting? it can only do it once or something?
Fake-Doug: it'd be the world’s biggest headbang
Fake-Doug: these are the things I wonder
Fake-Doug: I've never even thought about that before right now
Fake-Doug: I must find the answer
Me: lol, good luck with that
Me: "so what did you do Saturday night?"
"I pondered giraffe sneezes online with a guy-I-used-to-know's roommate...how about you??"
Fake-Doug: that's the start of a good conversation right there
Fake-Doug: screw getting drunk and going out, I've got important learning to do
Fake-Doug: I don't know where to go from that, I'll be honest, lol
Fake-Doug: I like your writing, fyi
Me: thanks, I guess
Me: my professors don't like it
Fake-Doug: I don't know them, but they suck
Fake-Doug: I can't back that up
Me: I'll be sure to tell them that
Me: as they're reading and signing off on my thesis
Fake-Doug: tell them, "Some guy named Fake-Doug likes my blog, so kiss my ass"
I'm stuck in this conudrum....is he at an incredibly horrendous place in life and I'm being an incredible bitch....or is it that he's an incredibly talented compulsive liar and I've been hanging onto every lie like a truth I've never found? But after a few not nasty, but not-so-nice, letters, wouldn't a real guy call to defend and make an attempt at ammends??
Oy, maybe it's just too late and I've run this through my head too many times. They say chicks are complicated; by damn, I'd like to see a straightforward guy!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Funny, I was as desperate as she is now at one point in my life. Yet, I'm still confused by her actions. I guess everyone else was confused by mine, then. I wish I could just get it through her abused little head that I love her as do many people in her life. I wish I could just hold her in my arms and make everything go away, although I know I can't. This is a battle she has to fight for herself. Perhaps I'll be able to hug her again this weekend during visiting hours. Until then, she'll rest in God's loving embrace.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Today, I'm sitting here, bumming around in my PJs, loving the fact that I'm home. I get online to play around and find one of my Mormon friends from my trip online. We were talking about things we'd brought back for our families and friends from the DR. I told him that I'd brought a bunch of bibles. He'd misunderstood a conversation we'd had about religion before and mistakenly thought I was something like Atheist. He was surprised to hear that this non-Christian girl would have brought back bibles for her family. I tried to explain to him that I was religious and that non-denominational had very little to do with nonbeliever. I told him that I was fairly certain that we shared many foundations of our beliefs, but that our end result of our speculation was where we differed. For quite awhile I tried to explain and defend my believe system. It's interesting that you often find your true beliefs when questioned and forced to explain yourself.
My religious life has always been a roller coaster. I'd go from believing to questioning to apathy and everywhere in between, time and time again. Despite all my searching, I never strayed away from the fact that there was a God. Just as the moon waxes and wanes, so has my faith. God presence is like the moon; even when I can't see it, I know it's there and when it's out in it's full brilliance and glory, I can't help but see it and stare in wonder and awe at it's beauty.
That's all I got. Kind of random, but then, that's just me!