Monday, January 05, 2009

The start/end of an era...

So for the past 22-23 years I've been in school....  Working towards some end (though that "end" changed a few times along the way).  Today started my last semester in school (at least for a LONG TIME).  But I didn't go to class.  You see, I'm in my last stretch.  Only a 600 hour internship left.  I'll only attend class 5 more times, possibly ever. 

Today also marked the last time I'll watch "my kids" because they had a day off from school.  When Shannon's dad (some of you might remember the curly blonde about Haley's age and the guy video taping at the wedding) came to get her, she and I had a really hard time saying goodbye.  Sure I'll still see her/them.  Still watch them for date nights or just to hang out...but it's different now.  It won't be every day.  I won't be helping with homework, correcting their grammar/manners, or be an active part of their little lives.  I won't get my hugs and smiles and love.  It broke my heart to let go of her and even more when I saw her tear up.  I came inside and started to cry (oh, who am I kidding, I was sobbing before I made it to the door).

As I was sitting here crying, feeling oh-so-sorry for myself, my "work" phone rang (the cell I was given at my internship).  It was clearly someone else's cell from work, but someone I hadn't programmed into my phone.  That would be because I currently intern for the mid-county team (read slave for free).  The person calling me was the North county team's supervisor...and my new supervisor.  She was calling me to tell me I was now going to be WORKING for her team.  Yes, that's right, working.  Paid with benefits.

So here I sit, a basket full of emotions.  I'm so sad to be walking away from my kids, but so excited to be walking into my new career.  I've spent YEARS leading up to this point.  Now that I'm here, I'm wondering...."now what?"  I've never taken a break, never stepped back.  I've always had a carrot in front of my facing egging me forward.  School is done, life begins.

And then all of the sudden, I became an adult...

Sunday, January 04, 2009

So it's been awhile

I've blogged on and off for a couple of years now. I began to notice that when I was blogging I was depressed. It became my outlet. As I became less depressed, it became more of a chore to keep writing.

Life's coming at me fast now. Kevin and I got married August 2, 2008. We have bought our first home and will close Jan 20. He meets with the surgical consult on Jan 13 for pretty rough (though not risky) surgery that will probably be scheduled as immediately as possible. Tomorrow I will call to schedule an appoint with an infertility specialist (I have PCOS). I have essentially finished my masters and should be given an official job offer from the place I've been interning (they're only considering me and we're waiting on red tape). Like I is coming fast. Maybe when I settle into my job I might pick up blogging again.

Thanks to all who have missed me ;) Feels good to feel loved! Hope all is well out in blogger's sphere!