Thursday, September 22, 2005

Random Follow-up Stuff

I was talking with the counselor today about some of the stuff I've been posting about. We talked about the possibility of changing my name. He thought it was a good thing that I was thinking about it, but something that I SERIOUSLY needed to consider before acting. He had a few good points:
  1. I'm planning to get married (WAY in the future) and planning on taking his name
  2. any drastic moves like that would close any possibility of my dad ever softening his heart
  3. family members on that side of the family (my grandparents, an aunt, an uncle, and my brother) would NOT take kindly to that kind of action and could result in even fewer family members on my side than before
  4. I have 5-7 years before I'll be adding Doctor to my title
  5. Women publish things under maiden names all the time and since I'm not planning to be an academic, it will probably be even less important for me not to change my name
So, he's glad that I'm thinking about it, but suggested to wait a few years and see how life pans out. I've made it thus far with my name, a few more years won't kill me. The family ramifications would be too hard to deal with right now, and I could feasibly never need to take this kind of action--5-7 years from now, I might be married. So, it's still something to ponder, but something that I should probably wait a bit for based on the possible consequences. Apparently Mister I-don't-want-a-girlfriend-right-now had a decent date last night, attending his best friend's birthday (the father of my God-daughter). From the very, very limited (and fairly complimentary) explanation I gave the counselor about our relationship, he told me to move on. Funny, I keep telling myself maybe we could get back together, but I really don't want that. I really just want to move on. I'm so hoping that now that he has someone to focus his attention on, that he'll leave me alone and allow me to move on. I've done it once, I'll do it again. I was over it for over a year. He just dragged me back into things. Oh well. Well, I have to run to the store, buy my mom's birthday present (and hope it gets to her by Monday--oops!!), grab dinner and go to CHOIR REHEARSAL!!! YAY! Toodles and Happy Friday!!


  1. I love the fact that you got a counselor that is not afraid to give you good sound advice. I concur. I have re-read several of your old post, and your growth is astounding! You enjoy your self, and sing your heart out! I am so very proud of you my friend!

    Say happy birthday to your Mother ... and thank her for me for giving birth to you!

    Much love ...

  2. i agree with liquid - the counselor is a great idea , and yes, you have lots of time :) happy friday to you :)

  3. LP- Which posts, might I ask?? I haven't been blogging for long, but I really have been through a lot since I started. I wouldn't have expected to "grow," though.

    Thom- I've been seeing this dude to get out frustrations about my relationship with my father. Let's just say my childhood wasn't easy. Plus, I don't feel I can be an effective counselor myself if I'm holding on to baggage. Also, I wanted to see how he regarded me in order to pick up ideas for future endeavors. I let other's problems drag me down quite a bit. After picking my friend up off the ground and handing her to the paramedics when she tried to kill herself this summer was rather taxing. So yeah, I'm a nutcase! ;)

  4. I am talking about the ones where you were trying to help your friend, and now how you are helping yourself and not feeling guilty that you can't save your friend from herself -- and the one about your father.

    Yes, Tina, this post reflect a hugh leap in your growth of love and acceptance (of things you cannot change, and changing the thing you can.)

    You have strenght and let me remind you, you have inspired me to be more open about my life and abuse. I write it now without fear of what others might think --- and it's so healing. Yes, you are growing, and this old one is growing right along with you.