LP is most certainly correct; my relationship with my ex-boyfriend is like a bad soap opera. Not like the LA soap operas that start and end in one season. No, our relationship is like the US soap operas that run for years and years and it doesn't seem to matter how much time you've lost in the middle, when you tune back it, it's always just about the same. It all started almost exactly 4 years ago.
We met, started dating, and fell in love faster than I care to admit. Everyone found it a bit odd that a 17 year-old senior in high school and a 21 year old living on his own would have much in common, but we did. We were on the same level and our relationship flourished for the first year. Then it was time for me to go away to school. Granted my new location was 2.5 hours away as opposed to the 1 hour away I used to be, but our relationship suffered not because of the distance but because of the maturity growth spurt I had upon arriving at college (a fairly normal occurrence as far as I can tell). As far as maturity goes, I was rapidly growing and changing and he was as stagnant as the day I met him. We fought and fought and fought, broke up more times than I care to try to count, half-ass dated other people (mainly as a point to the other that we were desirable on the market), and as always, wound up back together, miserable. This went on for two more years. Finally, last May, I got fed up. I refused to argue with him, refused to play along. I was on my way out to
I came back to FL and made it overly clear that I was NOT interested in rekindling the dampened flame between my and my ex. He, however, was under a different impression. Although he never admitted it at the time, he was apparently prepared to ask me to marry him within the year. He wasn't ready for that kind of commitment and I wasn't prepared to make that commitment to him based on his state. We went out separate ways and things got U-G-L-Y!!! His friends and I had become close in our 3 years of friendship, so they weren't ready to kick me out of their lives based on him. However, it became readily evident that we could NOT be in the same room with each other without a scene. Since it was also apparent which of the two was starting and causing the scene, they continued to invite me over and keep me a part of their lives. The main couple I'm speaking of is the parents of my God-Daughter, my ex's best friend from high school and his wife, also a good friend from high school. We were all pretty fed up with the shenanigans and the immaturity, so we continued our communication and relationship. None of us had much communication with my ex at all. He continued to call and harass me. I'm one of those people who will take quite a bit but have the inability to write people off. My mom has pointed out that during some of my growing pain spats with various female friends, I have had no problem cutting them out of my life. My response to that is always the same: while I make no attempt at reviving the friendship, nor do they; conversely, while I am making no attempt to revive my relationship with my ex, he IS.
Meanwhile, my psuedo-boyfriend from CO continued to call. We continued to have incredible conversations and it wasn't long before we were talking several times everyday. I took advantage of a four day weekend over Veterans Day to go up and see him. I wound up taking care of the poor guy, he'd come down with strep. Everything was going well and while we wouldn't admit it to ourselves, each other, or anyone else, we were falling HARD for each other. Then December rolled around and our worlds' shattered. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Because of various personal reasons, he'd suspected this for quite sometime but hadn't done anything about it. Due to the time delay, the cancer had spread to his liver. Now, it's just about un-fightable. The information took a big toll on both of our mental healths and on our relationship. I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and he didn't want to bring me down or hold me back. So he's pushed me away. I'm not pleased with this move, but I am beginning to understand it. For awhile, I let other people sway my thoughts and started to believe that he'd made the whole thing up and had been lying to me. After a long conversation with a dear friend of mine yesterday, I decided I'd been wrong and shouldn't have allowed others to change what I felt. The person I talked to was also from CO. She and I'd become friends as we worked together through the summer. Her family has known this man since before she was added to the family, so he's like a second dad to her. Although she hadn't talked to him in awhile, she confirmed that he was legitimately sick and became very upset/worried when I explained what had (or probably better put, what hadn't transpired) between the two of us.
Now, we switch back to the ex. There had been literally NO contact from me to him since