Friday, August 05, 2005

Talk about Rejection

Warning: Full blown temper tantrum

So today was fun. After three hours of horribly restless sleep, I got up and attempted to get ready for a day out. First I made a mess of the bathroom (don't ask, I just can't do anything the simple way). Then I went to the chiropractor to get my neck yanked on and to see what rides I could or couldn't go on. As soon as I walked in the door I managed to say just the wrong thing to the secretary/wife and royally piss her off. Oops. Then I get in the car to start my hour drive over to my ex's house (on the way to Orlando). I called him to let him know I was on my way. Cell phone's off and the house line is picking up after one ring. I figure he's still sleeping, maybe wasn't expecting me so early. I get 3/4 of the way there and hit traffic. I decided to take the opportunity to call again and see if he was up. Same phone situation. At this point I'm starting to think maybe things aren't that normal. I wouldn't care if he had an overnight visitor, I'd feel sorry for her really...however, it would be rather awkward to ring the bell and introduce myself as the ex to the latest lay. So I called a friend of mine who lives near him and always works at a truck stop where his car frequently winds up (I told him not to buy that POS). Nope, car's not there. I drive by his house, not a single car in the driveway and still no answer to any phone. At this point I'm steaming and left a not so sweet voicemail. I figured, his mom's been sick, his grandmother is old, perhaps something went array last night. So I called his mom (who lives in the same neighborhood). Nope, no word from him. She was under the impression he was at work. Called his best friend (who is still one of my close friends), perhaps he's heard answer. So I head down to the truck stop because my friend doesn't want me to drive back upset. There is something innately uncomfortable about a 20-something, blonde chick wondering around a truck stop. While I could probably hold my own in car talk, I am no match for stuttering, dirty males who can't seem to figure out that those aren't my eyes. After awhile I'd had enough of that and decided to just suck it up and go home. My mom tried to convince me to go to the theme park alone, like that would make me feel less lonely and abandoned. Or perhaps I could just wonder around the outlet malls. Terrific idea, I'll wonder aimlessly with no one to talk to, in and out of stores with no purpose and not a single penny to spend. That will definitely make me feel better. So I continue home. I finally hear back from his best friend, he's heard nothing either.

So here I am the chick who gets stood up by everyone, including her desperate ex-boyfriend. I'm going to go crawl under the covers and pretend I don't exist, since no one else seems to know that I do.


  1. Tina,
    My daughter sent this to me when I read your blog to her just now ... I don't know who wrote it, but you will get the gist of it .. just change the words to suit your beliefs ...

    What makes me weak? My fears
    What makes me whole? My God
    What keeps me standing? My faith
    What makes me compassionate? My selflessness
    What makes me honest? My integrity
    What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge
    What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes
    What lift's my head high? My pride
    What if I can't go on? Not an option
    What makes me victorious? My courage to climb
    What makes me competent? My confidence
    What makes me sensual? My insatiable essence
    What makes me beautiful? My everything
    What makes me a woman? My heart
    Who says I need love? I do
    What empowers me? My God & Me

    Who am I?

    We are women Tina, nothing is impossible ... You are young, you are beautiful ... you are intelligent, and you can do anything and go anywhere. It's wonderful when one can travel in pairs, as long as it pleases them ... but don't be afraid to travel alone, you never know when you might bump into a sweet companion.

    Be well,

  2. Tina,

    That's why they call them 'ex's.'

    I like LP's take on this - I have had a terrible week - no, make that month.

    Thirty days of a non-stop turd storm.

    I read LP's 'What makes me...." and I think of the lion on the Wizard of Oz!

    I love that scene asking about what's he got that I ain't got?' and the response in unison is, 'Courage!' He says, 'You got that right!' I love that lion - he is so like most of us who think we have no courage - rest assured you are going to come out the other end of all this funk and you will wonder how you did it. That's the beauty of life. We have a probelm and we deal with it. I like the Japanese saying, "If you fall down ten times, get up eleven."

    Now get out of bed and get your fanny out in the world - the only reason you don't know anyone at the mal is because you are not there meeting them.