Monday, August 01, 2005

My breaking point

There's only so much I can do for everyone else, only so far I can be pushed. I'm only one person, meek, lost, weak, and uncertain. There's only so much I can do. I've got to figure this whole life thing out for myself before I can do it for you, too. Yet, when you come to me, I can't turn away. I try with all I know how to help you. There's only so much I can do. All my suggestions, all my attempts, they feel like so little compared to your mounting problems. For some, that's all they need, a hug and a friend and someone to stand beside them. And my small efforts are appreciated and I can continue to work on me. But for others, they take and take and take until I can't give anymore. Yet, they're upset when I can no longer bend, stretch, and maneuver to help them. It's not my fault that I can't fix your problem. There's only so much I can do. Turning to me time and time again. What about me?? Aren't my problems important, too?? Am I not allowed to feel?? Why must I hide what I am going through to save you?? I don't understand what you want from me. There's only so much I can do. I can't fix everything for everyone. Really, I can't fix much for anyone. I can love; that's about all I got but it's wearing thin. Love works two ways. I'll love you and support you and help you all I can, but it has to come back to me. I have to know you care. There's only so much I can do. You have to help me help you. If you're not strong enough to fix it, I won't be strong enough alone either. We have to work as a team to get through this. And when we're done, how about me. I need help, too. I've put it all aside to be there for you; it's your turn. I'm not asking for you to solve anything, not asking for a miracle. Just be my friend and love me as I have loved you. Just like you, I can't do this alone. There's really only so much I can do.

2 comments:

  1. Try the book, 'Creating True Peace' by the Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh - it is very easy to read and well written - It might just be the ticket right now. :O)

    Be safe,
    Joe

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  2. I feel you Tina. Remember ... in your own words, just breathe. Everyone make thier own choices, we can only wish them well, we can't save them from themselves. When I get to a breaking point, I think of a weeping willow tree and bend with the wind, because I won't let it break me. Don't allow yourself to be pressured ... just tune out so you can tune in. There's no harm in tuning out.

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