Okay, so time for a real post. It's been a long week and fairly roller-coasterish.
Saturday night I was almost home from the lab when my phone rang. It was the home number of a dear friend who was to be getting married this coming weekend (Oct 9) . As I was supposed to be in the wedding, I assumed the phone call was important. That was an understatement!! The wedding has been called off. Her mom was so upset, poor woman. "They both need more time, particularly him." What did the bastard do?? I'll wack his weenie off!!! But, she didn't give details, just said to pray and that the "bride," K, would call me when she was ready. She said she sent K to stay with K's sister in New Jersey for awhile (they live in a VERY small town in NC). Her poor mom was in tears when she asked me to call a couple of the other bridesmaids that I'm close to. K is the LAST person in the world you'd want to double cross. She's beautiful, sweet, innocent, PERFECT in every way. I want to kill him for hurting her.
After that "lovely" conversation, I picked up my roommate and we grabbed some fine, gourmet dining. Yes, by that I do mean Taco Bell. On our way back to our suite (the first time I've been in the building in about 30 hrs) I notice my bicycle isn't sitting in the little alcove of the hallway. Terrific, I'm running on two hours of sleep, terrible news and now this?!?!? I talked to the housing director and he said he'd look into it but no promises. An hour or two later it was found, thank God. Apparently the Fire Marshal had been in the other dorm building and found a bike "out of place" and confiscated it. On of the RA's heard about it and had seen my bike in the hallway, WAY out of the way, in a cubby hole of wasted space, and had hidden it in a storage closet so it wouldn't get swiped. I was jumping up and down when I wheeled it into our common room, its new home.
Okay, I've now been up for 36 hours with a two hour nap. I think it's about time for me to sleep!! Just kidding. The people above me think it's wonderful to play their music really loud and dance. Okay, fine. I dug out my little fan, faced it towards the wall, and created my own little sound machine. Nope, still not good enough. Okay, how about my little sound machine and a smooth CD playing right by my head. Well, that was better and after an hour or so I finally passed out.
Sunday--the sun is shining and I'm semi-well rested and running late for church. I NEVER EVER EVER run late. I despise being late. Oh well, there's a first time for everything. So I get to church and it's all about family and home life and blah blah blah. Our new series is "God @ Home" and the "theme verse" is Joshua 24:15 "but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." I remember my brother saying that phrase a bit and I can picture this painting he has in his house that has that below it. My brother and I haven't really spoken in the past few years. In fact, we've barely seen each other and made it a point to avoid each other. Since he doesn't have a good relationship with my mom, avoiding him isn't very hard. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen my 20 month niece (that's 1 2/3 years for Damasta) and still have a finger or two left to pick my nose. So yeah, things basically suck between us, which is spectacular since neither one of us has a relationship with our father and I'm loosing my relationship with my dad's side of the family as my brother looses my mom's side of the family.
Anyway, I've been thinking about him a lot lately and this sermon was basically a "hello, call him stupid" for me. So, after the service, I did just that. On my way to the car, I was shaking as I took out my cell phone and scanned my list for his name. Our conversation went REALLY well. I think we've both started growing up enough to tolerate each other a bit more and to put past bullshit behind us. We talked for about 20 minutes. We agreed that we didn't want to loose each other as we've lost so much family already (and apparently we're loosing more--but that's another story). He basically invited me to step into the role as his daughter's only aunt. The whole thing was really cool. I hung up the phone and started bawling...out of overwhelming emotion. By that point I was sitting at a table in Applebee's with a friend and the server gave me a very strange look. Oh well!
After all of that it was back to church for spn service and singing. Yay!!
Well afterward I was supposed to go to the beach with a friend where I don't know what she was planning to do, but I made it clear that I HAD to read and study. I called her to see what she was doing and if we were still on. That lead into a two hour conversation about how depressed she was and how she's been treating me like crap and her holier than thou attitude and stuff. It was pretty intense, but it's good that it's out there. Then I invited her over for dinner to show there were no hard feelings, even though I really didn't have the time to waste. But, it's all good.
This week is midterm week. I had an exam on Monday (did okay), a paper due on Tuesday (pretty good), and an exam today (eh). I'm still beat from my escapades over the weekend. While I had a great time, I realized it's one of the last times I'll be doing something like that with that group of friends. Add on top of everything the Joseph drama....OY! Let's just say that the beginning of the week didn't go well.
Tuesday was Rosh Hashana (sorry if I spelled that wrong) so the public schools were out. The girl that I babysit was home all day with her mom, but her mom had to do something for three hours in the afternoon so I was going to watch her. Well, the little girl wanted to come hang out at my place. That's cool. I figured I'd take her swimming at the pool here on campus. Well, this poor kid came to find out that tropical weather and dorm rooms don't really mix. I have a wide selection of kid movies, but 7 year olds can only sit through so much Disney, apparently. She can thank Tropical Storm Tammy for her blah afternoon.
Then there's Joseph. I never sent him that letter. I was too upset to send it the day I wrote it and didn't care enough to send it after that. Maybe I'll still send it, maybe I won't. All I know is that I have to put distance between us because the closeness we'd been toying with was too much for me. We're supposed to spend Nov 4th together (an event that he wanted me to go to with him), but I don't know if that's going to happen. Basically, I don't know much of anything.
Thursday afternoons are my usual time to meet with the counselor. He said he couldn't think of much for us to talk about and that if I really wanted to come in, I could, but he didn't think it was necessary. I'm a bit confused. I still feel really depressed, but perhaps that's just my situation and things will start looking up soon enough. He said he'd put me down for a maybe next week, but unless something comes up, he doesn't think we'll be meeting anymore. Um, okay. I guess I should take that as a good sign, but it was just struck me as a bit odd.
So now I've got all weekend to do all the thesis stuff I've been supposed to be doing all semester long. My adviser responded to an e-mail I sent her about something completely non-related and wrote "P.S. I haven't seen anything from you this semester, what do you think your grade is at this point?" OOPS!!
Ahhhh, the sweet bliss of blogging again. Now if only I can catch up so I can do it daily or almost daily or something. My poor devotional sits gathering dust, too. I can make up excuses for not blogging, but not having time for God is a little wrong. Anyway, have a terrific day and weekend. And Happy HNT to all of you half nekkid people!!