I still don't know where I'm going to grad school. I haven't heard from USF, though I should soon. I'm getting rather apathetic about making a decision. I'm so over it all.
I'm home. I'd planned on getting a job as soon as I got here. The first place I applied was so overly excited at the prospect of me working there (a server at a nice restaurant), then told me that I was one of 6 or 7 applicants applying for 1 position. I'd be moving on to the second round of interviews, but that didn't give me much encouragement. I've already basically accepted a summer babysitting gig, thing. The only problem is that it doesn't start for over a month. They need me to help a couple hours a day, a couple days a week for the next two weeks. I'm a sucker and agreed. But that really makes gaining employment more difficult. I don't really know what to do. I really need a good amount of money to flow in to make up for shitty employment (read shitty paychecks) this past year and not working last summer. Plus, I need to save up for grad school, particularly if I'm going to Colorado.
I always have a hard time when I come home. I expect that everyone will drop everything and spend time with me. I mean, I'm finally home and I've waited so long to see everyone and spend time with everyone. They say they've all missed me. I understand these expectations are unrealistic. Life goes on here, just as it had before I left, while I was gone, and now that I'm back. I suppose if I had something to occupy myself, I'd be better. Kevin's occupied with school and work. He's upset about one of his classes this semester and he's very tired, as always. Last night he was really cranky, and I got my feelings hurt. I tried to tell myself that I'd done the same thing, if not worse to him so many times over the past 6 months. It helped a little, but... I wanted to meet him for lunch today. He's got a test tonight, so he needs to spend his lunch hour studying. No lunch out. I called my best friend. She's just gotten back in town from a few days of vacation. Maybe she'd want to have lunch. Nope, she's going out with her fiancee for lunch (the same guy she's spent the last several days hiding with). My psycho friend is doing better, but I'm still her only friend, so she feels I should spend all of my time with her. She exhausts me. I love her to death, but I cannot allow much time with her. I'm afraid it will pull me down as it did last summer. Another one of my friend's is reverting to previous behavior that drove us apart for a stint. Welcome home, Tina. I feel like it would be better if I'd never come home. Perhaps I should go to Colorado for school. I wouldn't be missed. At least that's how it feels right now.
Somehow, I already miss being at school. I miss being occupied: schoolwork, work, friends always ready to hang out, talk, grab dinner.
Oh, I figured I'd be all excited to be done. Instead I'm mopey. I guess I'll get back to reading for pleasure. I do enjoy it, I just wish I had something more than that to do. I guess I'm never happy. Uff! Happy Hump Day!